Top 5 in 5

In the spring of 2013, I started reviewing scare attractions. Five years have passed; five Halloween seasons have been and gone. And so, on the eve of our sixth October, I decided to look back on my top five moments in this gloriously terrifying field of entertainment. The most memorable moments of fear and dread, laughter and exhilaration; of feeling alive and briefly existing in a world so transcendent. Here's my top five in five, and in no particular order; some of these experiences do not compare with each other in the slightest, so the task of ordering them was far too great!

1) You, Me, and a Scary Story

Horror Souk 2014

This experience ran as part of a collective theatrical installation housed inside an old department store. The theme for the event was horror, and the set-pieces varied greatly in terms of their presentation, level of audience participation, and interpretation of the theme. All were deeply immersive, raw, and wonderfully unique. The standout was a piece titled You, Me, and a Scary Story. Participants were blindfolded and lead into a pitch black room, seated on a chair and shut inside, completely alone. With a small torch to light my way, I was fed instructions from the narrator via an audio feed. The room contained a dresser with objects inside the drawers, objects which told a scary story, and yet the experience focused on the stories that we ourselves create; the way we fill in the gaps to make sense of the unexplained, and how we perceive mysterious events in our own minds. The above picture is a still taken from a video clip of my experience - there was a small night vision camera housed in the corner of the room. Watching the clip back, it's obvious I was scared. A simple yet incredibly effective show.

2) The Execution Scene

Slasher, Screamfest Burton 2014

This terrifying scare maze departed Screamfest’s line-up in 2015, so I’m thrilled I got to experience it before its final show. Slasher was themed around a convicted serial killer, and his execution via the electric chair formed the opening scene. We were seated in the gallery with the window to his execution chamber directly in front of us. We anxiously awaited the proceedings, knowing all too well that something horrifying was about to happen. I've always found electric chairs to be somewhat disturbing beyond the obvious reasons, so the tension was unbearable for me in this scene. Amidst sudden lighting and sound effects, the killer broke free; he lunged towards the audience, and we ran screaming out of the room. This heart-stopping intro gave way to a deftly designed scare maze, competent in its delivery with well positioned scares and enthusiastic scareactors. Perfectly executed, you might say.

3) Abandoned at The Gates

Snuffhouse (After Dark), Scare Kingdom Scream Park 2016

Extreme attractions aren't for me - although recent events which have utilised intentional infliction of physical pain have redefined what many of us would consider an extreme attraction. Irrespective of definition, the relationship between scare attractions and extreme attractions has always been disjointed in my eyes. To me, these experiences aren't scary. Snuffhouse was so intensely draining that I reached a point where my body couldn't muster any more adrenaline to push me through, and I felt myself shutting down. The reason I attend scare attractions is to experience the opposite state. Nevertheless, Snuffhouse brought with it one of my favourite moments in the history of this website. After many gruelling hours, we were told we'd reached the end of our challenge. We were thrilled. Our tormentors had other ideas. We were hooded once more and led out into the darkness, completely devastated by the quashed flicker of hope. We knelt on the ground, exhausted and shivering, and awaited our instructions. However, all we could hear were footsteps disappearing into the night, then silence. With great trepidation, we slowly lifted our hoods. The tormentors had gone, and we were alone at the gates of Scare Kingdom. The experience was indeed over. My elation was indescribable, exponentially heightened by the fake ending, which brought with it the thrill I'd been craving all along.

4) Walking Through The Ward

The Sanctuary, Alton Towers Scarefest 2013

The Sanctuary scare maze was a brief addition to the Scarefest line-up, intended as a tie-in with the opening of The Smiler. However, to consider it solely as such would do it a great disservice. The Smiler connection was disposable; the brilliance of this maze laid elsewhere. The cinematic theming of The Sanctuary clinic was unequivocally immersive, and despite the garish characters and nightmarish scenario, it carried a creeping sense of authenticity, like stepping back in time to witness a highly questionable clinical experiment in a facility from the 1950s. It seems outlandish, but consider the fact that electric shock therapy was a thing and you’re in the right mindset. The concept of the Sanctuary was a treatment overseen by a character called Dr Kelman, an white-coated authority figure experimenting with patient obedience. The walls of the clinic were adorned with real life psychologists who had also dabbled in that field. I was spellbound upon entering this attraction; even more so upon entering the ward section. Neat rows of beds, with white sheets, each slightly obscured by ominous curtains. A mangled patient in the centre of the corridor, daring us proceed. A pungent smell burning my nostrils, and that special combination of dread and irresistible curiosity to see what lay in wait.

5) The Mel Gibson Incident

Cracked Survival Experience 2015

This controversial extreme event has truly outgrown its beginnings; as of now, it's a successful entity and a loyal community in and of itself. Prior to the show's debut, press were invited along for a special preview. Many declined. Those who accepted, including myself, were informed of the conditions to which they must agree: no specific details of the event were to be communicated in their coverage. Apparently the task of reporting in this manner was insurmountable; all of them refused, except me. Undeterred, Cracked producers decided to press on with my solo show, and took the opportunity to use me as a guinea pig, testing out the various scenes and challenges. One such challenge involved being shut inside a large box with a TV screen in front of me. I was given a pair of headphones and told to focus on the screen; I was about to play a game. I was left alone in the dark, the screen flickered on. I don't quite know what I was expecting, but I know what I wasn't expecting, and that was Mel Gibson. Yet there he was, in his US Army uniform, leading his battalion into Vietnam. I sat and watched this brief scene from the 2002 hit film We Were Soldiers, until one of the actors realised they had pressed the wrong button on the DVD/VHS combo television. As hilarious as this incident was, I am honoured to have that memory; it was a warm reminder of the human effort behind any attraction. We all make mistakes, and you should look upon your own with kindness and good humour. The Mel Gibson Incident helps me to remember that.