2018 was my first ever visit Yorkshire Scare Grounds; a park that had been on my list for ages, and I had high expectations for it. After a lengthy entrance queue, we made our way to the intro building and were met with ‘the doctor’, who, with the help of a video, laid out the rules of the scream park before sending us off into the darkness. This guy did a superb job of injecting humour into his spiel, thereby lulling us into a false sense of security in readiness for the scares. We ambled along a dark woodland path – a portion of the experience which I thoroughly enjoyed – until we came upon the show building for the first maze, nestled perfectly amongst the trees. Atmospheric lighting, a dead body hanging from a tree, and a creepy scareactor set the scene for our first attraction of the night. The Torture Rooms The exterior theming (I loved the price list) does this maze a huge favour, and a deeply unnerving scareactor did a wonderful job of stirring up a little unease before sending us into the attraction. Without him and his intro, I’m not sure the concept would have worked for me. Once inside, the shine wore off as I realised that the scenes were all strikingly similar, in terms of set decoration and the direction from which the scares came (it was essentially the same every time). The tension levels quickly levelled out as a result of this uniformity; nevertheless we received one or two good jump scares. The scareactors inside were energetic and engaging, although perhaps the latter was a disadvantage; they were keen to keep our group moving, and so kept shouting at us to leave through seemingly continuous patter, of which I wanted to hear as much as possible! Zombie Outpost Odd to hear myself uttering the words “are… are these nazis?” in a scare attraction. And indeed they were. Nazi zombies. This theme was executed with a great deal of enthusiasm. I suppose it's a case of 'go hard or go home'; if you’ve chosen to go with nazis (complete with swastika flags and authentic uniforms), you might as well see it through. I enjoyed the intro, where I was instructed to select a random member of our group to go at the front. The layout of this maze is relatively open, so the victim didn’t suffer too much, but it was a great little gimmick. We ended up at the back of the group for this one, which was fine by us, as the zombies skillfully delivered scares towards both the front and back. Despite the theme, which I wasn't hugely keen on, this attraction was outrageously fun; more like a scare zone than a contained maze, and utilising the best of both. The Colony Fear levels quickly rose as we entered The Colony; themed around a rural village inhabited by lepers who have been left to rot within its walls, this attraction delivers on style and substance. The detail within is stunning; complete with abandoned shops, eerie streets and crude dwellings which we steadily weaved in and out of, never knowing where the next scareactor would appear (the layout is ideal). Unlike The Torture Rooms, we didn’t feel rushed in this attraction. I was extremely tense throughout. The attraction was so immersive, I was genuinely surprised when the final scareactor alluded to what would happen in the next attraction, essentially breaking character. Nevertheless, this experience was one of the highlights of the night. Hotel Hell As we entered the first scene of this attraction, I genuinely wanted to applaud. The theming is stunning and I bought in immediately – I could see the grandeur of a once fully functional hotel, now transformed into a macabre playground for a truly deranged bunch of clowns. This concept carried through perfectly, each room plunged into pure chaos and insanity at the hands of our unhinged hosts. We found the attraction to be a little light on the scareactors as we progressed towards the end, but the animatronics were extremely effective, largely due to the tension created in earlier parts of the maze. The kitchen scene could have benefited from an additional scareactor; the one in there was hoping to scare the whole group, meaning we had to wait a little for everyone to catch up. That being said, given the detailed theming in that room, I could have hung around for hours. Blackthorn Asylum Can. You. Fucking. Not. I anticipated big scares in this one, and in that anticipation I became so worked up, a mere tap on the shoulder would have sent me into a panic. Having done most of the work for them, I was primed and ready to be terrified. I wasn’t disappointed. The action kicked off almost immediately, setting the bar high for the remainder of the experience. The theming had a similar vibe to Hotel Hell, in the sense of an institution being overrun and spiralling into chaos at the hands of the patients. My best scare of the night came from the bed scene, where some acute misdirection paid off impeccably. I recoiled in complete terror – although I’m not sure how well this would have worked at the back of the group. This maze is proof that you don’t need an IP to nail the horror movie aesthetic; with the right vision, this can be achieved with aplomb. The final maze exited into a delightfully unexpected finale, which had us in fits of laughter. Once outside there was still plenty for us to partake in, including food stalls, a gift shop, roaming characters and a hilarious photo booth. Still high on adrenaline and trying to resist the urge to purchase all the food on offer, we made our way towards the exit. Our first visit was over, and it certainly won’t be our last.

This year was our first visit to Contained Liverpool, and after having read reviews of their 2017 event, ‘The Chamber of Terror’, we were very excited indeed. This year, Contained Liverpool presents ‘Demonic Descension’– a twisted journey through multiple horror themed rooms. We anxiously took our place in the queue, which had disco lighting and rock music – this pleased us greatly. It wasn’t until we reached the entrance that we realised the playlist was most likely a means to drown out the shrieks and howls of the opening scene. The door opened. As we were ushered into a pitch black room, Alice Cooper faded into the background, and our descension began. The first few scareactors set the bar high, and high it remained. They were faultless in their command of the rooms, their interaction with us, their energy levels, and even their accents. They added a crazed intensity to every scene, and I could sense their own passion and enjoyment, not just for their own motifs but for the event as a whole. I was absolutely delighted to discover that this was so much more than simple walkthrough. Most (if not all) rooms had a level of interactivity, from simple task to a full-blown escape room-style challenge. A member of our group was sacrificed in a nifty execution scene, I myself was stowed away behind a curtain and found myself adjoined to a different group; these shifts were extremely effective in that they prevented any of us from getting too comfortable (no doubt the girl I went in with, who asked to hold my hand, was unhappy with my departure!) The scenes themselves were deeply immersive and utilised some of the best animatronics we’ve ever seen. They blended well with the live actors, and one in particular really caught me off guard! Timing is everything, and the scares are well-timed in this attraction. Moments of complete darkness created ample tension yet didn’t outstay their welcome. There was a great blend of intensity and humour, meaning our expectations were continually toyed with from room to room, and the experience never plateaued. I lost a little of the impact from the séance scene, as there weren’t enough chairs for me to sit down, and I imagine that would’ve been very unnerving from a sitting position. The final scene was something of a head-scratcher for us too, as we weren’t sure whether the actor was trying to scare us out of the door or not. If our exit has been more clearly signalled, and the actor more insistent that we leave, we may have understood the intention a little better. Overall, Contained is a superb attraction for the Halloween season; it hits all the right notes in terms of fear and fun, it’s incredibly engaging, beautifully themed, and has a decent duration from beginning to end. Were it not for its geographical location in relation to ours, we’d be back for another run in a heartbeat.

In a quiet residential area of Doncaster, tucked away along a leafy road, sits a creepy old barn. Within the scare community, this unassuming structure will henceforth be known as 'The House of Detention'- the UK's newest dedicated venue for scare attractions. Plans are already underway to host numerous events (including plenty of non-Halloween scares) inside The House of Detention, with an upcoming Christmas event already creating a buzz. The House of S was the inaugural scare maze to be built at the venue, running for the last week of the Halloween season, and we were very excited to go check it out. The House of S was a collaborative effort between PUP Events and GNG Entertainment; two teams with a wealth of experience in creating theatrical mazes with good interaction and well placed scares. Expectations were high. Once we arrived, we were lead to the dispatch area and told there were 3 doors to choose from. At this point I was already enjoying myself immensely; great lighting effects outside the barn and audible screams from within were adding to the atmosphere. We began our journey through door number 1. The first thing that struck me was the absence of any reference to the 'wax museum' from the original branding. I was expecting to see wax dummies coming to life, or something that looked like a museum, but I couldn't pinpoint either theme once I got inside. The sets were amazing; they were beautifully dressed and perfectly lit, but unfortunately there was no overriding theme to link back to. The scareactors made up for this though- they improvised well and delivered great impact scares (which always landed due to the small group size). The character of James McVee was the stand-out, with a confident performance and impressive command of the space. I also LOVED the clown character, whose concealed 'hand horn' was probably the most unsettling moment of the entire season for me (and the funniest!) The multiple doors were a nice touch, but I'm not sure it was worth it because the majority of the content was the same, regardless of which door we entered. It would have been great to see 3 doors function as 3 separate routes, perhaps with one crossover point (but with the space they had to work with, I doubt that would have been possible). Since the separate doors added so little, I would have preferred to see one larger, more fully realised maze. That being said, I enjoyed the non-linear layout, and I'm sure the 3 doors added tension because groups could be divided up. Confusing at times, but competent in its execution and not without theatrical flair, The House of S was a lot of fun. It also got things off to a good start in The House of Detention, which I have no doubt will function brilliantly as a permanent scare venue.

In and amongst the scream parks, scare mazes, Halloween events and shows which populate my calendar in the dizzying month of October, there’s one event I have a great fondness for; where, for a sentimental Halloween lover such as myself, the evening is such a delight that I could sit and people-watch for hours. Where else could you find two old ladies drinking cups of tea while the theme from Halloween blasts from the sound system and teenagers are chased around by a guy in a clown suit. This event is Screamfest, a Halloween spooktacular at the National Forest Adventure Farm in Burton-on-Trent. Featuring a slew of terrifying scare mazes and a selection of charming games and sideshows, and not forgetting DJ Duckpond, Screamfest genuinely has something for everyone, including us thrillseekers! So we ventured in to sample the scares of Screamfest 2018… Insomnia You thought you were entering a scare maze – you thought wrong. This is immersive horror, a fully theatrical experience blended with some traditional spookhouse scares to keep the adrenaline pumping. We knew from the queue line that this would be something special; a mini setpiece featuring a mother and child, which flowed into the first scene, really grabbed our attention. From there, we found ourselves in a hyper-real dream dimension where the acutely terrifying elements of a child’s nightmare materialised right in front of our eyes. This attraction cleverly harnesses a very specific feeling and projects it onto these scenes; a unique feeling of terror which could only be spawned from a child’s overactive imagination. Something no child is safe from, yet it doesn’t physically exist. This attraction excelled in delivering that sensation – one particular moment involving the mother really pulled the rug from under me. As we made our way through, the theming and sound design came together in a horrifying tableau (in which I saw a little of the Babadook, amongst others) and I was spellbound. The only minor downside was the first room – more people from the queue piled in halfway through the first scene, which threw the tension off slightly, and resulted in them missing half of it. Demonica Dark mazes can work; I’ve been in attractions before which featured minimal theming, black walls and basic lighting effects – essentially a basic platform for the scareactors to work their magic. Unfortunately, this dark maze is still missing the mark for me. As with last year, I was impressed by the exterior theming, and the first room worked perfectly. But once again, the door opened and the experience fell a little flat. I ambled around for several minutes before I saw a scareactor. There were countless empty wall panels, which was a huge disappointment; all I saw were a couple of scareactors around corners, so I quickly acclimatised to that. Some scareactors in the panels would have helped to mix things up, and that’s essential in a minimalistic maze such as this. By the time we reached the cage maze, I’d seen 2 or 3 scareactors, and it was a little too easy to see my way around; I could even see a scareactor gearing up to get me. Mind you, the attraction featured a certain seasoned scareactor prior to entry; an absolute favourite of mine, and that made my night. Love Hurts There’s always a great atmosphere in the queue line for this attraction. Themed around a grungy rock bar (The Diced Heart) there’s always good music playing and lots of band posters to look at, along with a bar area adorned with fairy lights and proscenium arch bearing a huge Love Hurts logo. The theming is this attraction’s strong suit – starting with the foul toilets and into the sewage works; the sets are so intricate throughout this attraction. We had a great run, with some energetic scareactors taunting us – although I didn’t see a scareactor in the green mist, which was a shame as that’s a great effect. There was one lurking, but they scared the middle of the group as I was exiting at the front (multiple actors in here would have solved this). The lighting shattered the mystique a little in the final scene; I’m wondering whether the professor looks scary enough to be bathed in bright light before running at us; but this is wholly subjective. It’s still an effective ending which works well with any group size. Día de los Muertos Mexico... cartel crime... in a scare maze? An escaped criminal, a chop shop, people shooting at you, walls riddled with bullet holes? I'm not a fan of this theme. Some would argue that the Día de los Muertos theme alone is culturally insensitive, but for me, that portion of the maze is where this attraction is at its best. Upon arrival for the celebration, the village is so beautifully themed, and the ‘lost souls’ portion works so well in and amongst the corn. Mild scares, but really quite charming and enchanting. I’d have liked a jump scare or two in the strobe section; aside from that, this is much the same as before. The ride to the entrance, perfunctory as it may be, still features some of my favourite elements of the entire event: the van, with the addition of the newsreader, is a wonderfully inventive setpiece.

Ghoulies is a year-round live action horror attraction in the centre of Liverpool, with an adjoining horror-themed bar, which the attraction itself exits into. The attraction has been on my list for some time, and with a trip to Liverpool finally on the cards, we had to check it out! We booked onto a tour and headed into the adjoining bar to await our start time. Our favourite rock & metal tunes were blasting and the staff were serving up some absurdly instagrammable drinks. I could have stayed in there for hours. Nevertheless, our time slot came around so we made our way to the attraction entrance. Ghoulies offers a family friendly tour earlier in the evening, the Haunted House experience, and an over 18s tour later in the evening, Ghoulies X, which we opted for. Ghoulies is advertised as a full-contact scare experience, however they do offer wearable glowsticks which serve as a signal to the scareactors that they shouldn’t touch you. No glowsticks for us of course. But as we found out later, full-contact didn't necessarily mean what we thought it would. As we entered the attraction, I was instantly impressed. Themed corridors and lighting set the scene for the first scare, which landed perfectly; little did we know, the intensity was about to increase exponentially. Drop panel scares and dark corners soon gave way to a proper introduction to the monsters, who were eager to toy with us, both physically and mentally. Certain characters made their entrance, including Stabby the clown, whose unhinged manner was extraordinarily convincing. Things quickly became tense as we were separated and lead off; I myself was about to pay a visit to the dentist. And this is where things got very interesting. The densest room setup is perfectly configured for some serious victim intimidation. A tilted chair, with my head at the downward point, meant the dentist could loom over me as though he were ten feet tall. And loom he did; his horrific mask seemingly magnified. Add to this a blinding light for disorientation, and this scene WORKED. It delivered, big time. I’ve sat in similar scenes before, but none have packed this kind of punch – I mean that figuratively and literally. Out of nowhere came a bonk on the head, and bites on the leg. I left the room in a somewhat pissed-off daze, my shirt adorned with a sticker to congratulate me on making it through his treatment. After being instructed to bend over a chair for some light whipping (yup) we continued our journey. Highlights included a chaotic clown room and corridor with hanging bodies, the scareactors were ruthless at every juncture. Their energy flowed, gathering momentum, and the intensity never dipped. The finale was well constructed, blending comedy with yet more shocks, however the lighting in the final room was a little bright. However, to some readers, my complaint about the lighting must seem downright trivial when positioned in the same paragraph and a comment about whipping. Am I going to address that? Yes. Yes I am. En route to Liverpool, my friend Zoe and I were engaged in a conversation around what constitutes an ‘extreme’ attraction. We’d discussed it before, but the advent of aggressive experiences utilising direct infliction of pain has shifted the conversation for us. Rough handling, we’d decided, wasn’t linked; we’d had plenty of full-contact scares in mainstream attractions. The word ‘pain’ is a gamechanger, and for me, the intentional infliction of it crosses a line. In extreme events I've done in the past, the pain was incidental, i.e. the result of a stress position. No one was physically doing anything to me - it was a result of what I was being told to do. I maintained that this didn’t constitute direct infliction of pain. Zoe disagreed. What we did agree on is that pain is a weird element, and something we’re still getting our heads around. As I alluded to, I wrongly assumed that 'full-contact' meant grabbing/rough handling. The biting and hitting in the one-on-one dentist scene was downright bizarre to me, but it didn’t detract from my enjoyment of Ghoulies X. Had the intro video specifically mentioned biting/being struck in any way, would I have asked for a glow stick? Most likely. Was it OK? I’m not sure. Does Ghoulies X do exactly what it says on the tin? Yes, it was absolutely terrifying, but in spite of these elements.

In the spring of 2013, I started reviewing scare attractions. Five years have passed; five Halloween seasons have been and gone. And so, on the eve of our sixth October, I decided to look back on my top five moments in this gloriously terrifying field of entertainment. The most memorable moments of fear and dread, laughter and exhilaration; of feeling alive and briefly existing in a world so transcendent. Here's my top five in five, and in no particular order; some of these experiences do not compare with each other in the slightest, so the task of ordering them was far too great!   1) You, Me, and a Scary Story Horror Souk 2014 This experience ran as part of a collective theatrical installation housed inside an old department store. The theme for the event was horror, and the set-pieces varied greatly in terms of their presentation, level of audience participation, and interpretation of the theme. All were deeply immersive, raw, and wonderfully unique. The standout was a piece titled You, Me, and a Scary Story. Participants were blindfolded and lead into a pitch black room, seated on a chair and shut inside, completely alone. With a small torch to light my way, I was fed instructions from the narrator via an audio feed. The room contained a dresser with objects inside the drawers, objects which told a scary story, and yet the experience focused on the stories that we ourselves create; the way we fill in the gaps to make sense of the unexplained, and how we perceive mysterious events in our own minds. The above picture is a still taken from a video clip of my experience - there was a small night vision camera housed in the corner of the room. Watching the clip back, it's obvious I was scared. A simple yet incredibly effective show.   2) The Execution Scene Slasher, Screamfest Burton 2014 This terrifying scare maze departed Screamfest’s line-up in 2015, so I’m thrilled I got to experience it before its final show. Slasher was themed around a convicted serial killer, and his execution via the electric chair formed the opening scene. We were seated in the gallery with the window to his execution chamber directly in front of us. We anxiously awaited the proceedings, knowing all too well that something horrifying was about to happen. I've always found electric chairs to be somewhat disturbing beyond the obvious reasons, so the tension was unbearable for me in this scene. Amidst sudden lighting and sound effects, the killer broke free; he lunged towards the audience, and we ran screaming out of the room. This heart-stopping intro gave way to a deftly designed scare maze, competent in its delivery with well positioned scares and enthusiastic scareactors. Perfectly executed, you might say.   3) Abandoned at The Gates Snuffhouse (After Dark), Scare Kingdom Scream Park 2016 Extreme attractions aren't for me - although recent events which have utilised intentional infliction of physical pain have redefined what many of us would consider an extreme attraction. Irrespective of definition, the relationship between scare attractions and extreme attractions has always been disjointed in my eyes. To me, these experiences aren't scary. Snuffhouse was so intensely draining that I reached a point where my body couldn't muster any more adrenaline to push me through, and I felt myself shutting down. The reason I attend scare attractions is to experience the opposite state. Nevertheless, Snuffhouse brought with it one of my favourite moments in the history of this website. After many gruelling hours, we were told we'd reached the end of our challenge. We were thrilled. Our tormentors had other ideas. We were hooded once more and led out into the darkness, completely devastated by the quashed flicker of hope. We knelt on the ground, exhausted and shivering, and awaited our instructions. However, all we could hear were footsteps disappearing into the night, then silence. With great trepidation, we slowly lifted our hoods. The tormentors had gone, and we were alone at the gates of Scare Kingdom. The experience was indeed over. My elation was indescribable, exponentially heightened by the fake ending, which brought with it the thrill I'd been craving all along.   4) Walking Through The Ward The Sanctuary, Alton Towers Scarefest 2013 The Sanctuary scare maze was a brief addition to the Scarefest line-up, intended as a tie-in with the opening of The Smiler. However, to consider it solely as such would do it a great disservice. The Smiler connection was disposable; the brilliance of this maze laid elsewhere. The cinematic theming of The Sanctuary clinic was unequivocally immersive, and despite the garish characters and nightmarish scenario, it carried a creeping sense of authenticity, like stepping back in time to witness a highly questionable clinical experiment in a facility from the 1950s. It seems outlandish, but consider the fact that electric shock therapy was a thing and you’re in the right mindset. The concept of the Sanctuary was a treatment overseen by a character called Dr Kelman, an white-coated authority figure experimenting with patient obedience. The walls of the clinic were adorned with real life psychologists who had also dabbled in that field. I was spellbound upon entering this attraction; even more so upon entering the ward section. Neat rows of beds, with white sheets, each slightly obscured by ominous curtains. A mangled patient in the centre of the corridor, daring us proceed. A pungent smell burning my nostrils, and that special combination of dread and irresistible curiosity to see what lay in wait.   5) The Mel Gibson Incident Cracked Survival Experience 2015 This controversial extreme event has truly outgrown its beginnings; as of now, it's a successful entity and a loyal community in and of itself. Prior to the show's debut, press were invited along for a special preview. Many declined. Those who accepted, including myself, were informed of the conditions to which they must agree: no specific details of the event were to be communicated in their coverage. Apparently the task of reporting in this manner was insurmountable; all of them refused, except me. Undeterred, Cracked producers decided to press on with my solo show, and took the opportunity to use me as a guinea pig, testing out the various scenes and challenges. One such challenge involved being shut inside a large box with a TV screen in front of me. I was given a pair of headphones and told to focus on the screen; I was about to play a game. I was left alone in the dark, the screen flickered on. I don't quite know what I was expecting, but I know what I wasn't expecting, and that was Mel Gibson. Yet there he was, in his US Army uniform, leading his battalion into Vietnam. I sat and watched this brief scene from the 2002 hit film We Were Soldiers, until one of the actors realised they had pressed the wrong button on the DVD/VHS combo television. As hilarious as this incident was, I am honoured to have that memory; it was a warm reminder of the human effort behind any attraction. We all make mistakes, and you should look upon your own with kindness and good humour. The Mel Gibson Incident helps me to remember that.

Now in its ninth year of fear, Scare Kingdom Scream Park has thrown open gates once more, inviting guests to experience seven terrifying attractions in sequence (assuming they make it to the end). Combining live scareactors with special effects and jaw-dropping sets, plus roaming characters and a fully licensed bar, the UK’s top rated scream park never fails to deliver on Halloween fun. So breathe in the cold night air and brace yourself for an evening of terror; the season of screams is upon us, and Scare Kingdom awaits you with fervent anticipation. And if you literally can't imagine anything worse, then simply read on to experience vicariously... sLAUGHTER As we entered the waiting area, listening to the usual shrieks and screams seeping out from behind the black curtain, I became aware of a new sound; something I'd never heard from that room before, and couldn't quite place. We promptly lined up and were treated to a Scare Kingdom style welcome, where we soon discovered the source of the unusual noise. Unlike last year where the first character's theming didn't fully translate, an effective backdrop and word of an escaped clown was enough to get things going in this scene. A great element of sLAUGHTER was the way in which the opening character kicked off a sort of 'scareactor relay': an introduction to the next character we'd meet, and so on. This was a great way of linking different areas of the park together. The Sickness 2: High Hopes Hospital My favourite attraction from last year is back! A newly built facade really added to the excitement as we approached. We were warned of the unspeakable experiments being carried out in High Hopes Hospital, and the terrifying sights we would encounter. The script really delivered here in terms of amping-up the sense of dread. Our adrenaline was pumping as we navigated the foul wards, and I felt completely immersed in the environment; a seamless combination of nasty sights, sounds and smells portrayed the appalling conditions of the hospital. Positioning was everything this year, as most impact scares seemed to target the front of our group. The bed scene passed us by a little bit, but the scares came thick and fast as we entered the 'isolation chamber'. The finale utilised a classic, albeit somewhat formulaic scare tactic. But they're classics for a reason - the formula works. Manormortis Ghostkeeper Resplendent in gothic detail and alive with technical wizardry, the custom-built Manormortis is the dark jewel in Scare Kingdom's crown. This year, it featured an eccentric collector of ghosts, with each room serving as a space to exhibit his supernatural treasures. As expected with more of a narrative-driven experience, the actors stole the show. The girl on the stairs gave a chilling performance; costume, lighting, soundtrack and movement all came together to create a perfect moment which was both scary and beautiful in equal measure. Speaking of scareactors, the actor in the furnace room deserves a special mention. He made a great effort to keep the scene moving amidst heckling and constant interruptions from an inconsiderate group. Prey Following the larger sets and wordy script of Manormortis Ghostkeeper was Prey, the opposite in many ways. Prey was a series of jump scares in rapid succession, in a darkened environment. This created a nice contrast. This attraction made efficient use of tight spaces to create a sense of unease, and the vampires lurking within were well positioned. Scares came from the sides, which created more opportunities to scare the middle and back of the group. Short but effective, Prey was a fun sideshow which kept the energy up between the larger attractions. Body Snatchers In this attraction, the opening scene alone was enough of an indication that we were in for something special. We walked onto a stunning set, themed to cinematic standards, clearly created with great care and attention to detail. Our opening actor was so engaging and convincing, he elevated the scene even further. I was beyond sold before we even began. Themed around 'Brimstone & Black's Funeral Parlour', Body Snatchers was a chilling journey through classic horror aesthetics. Its gorgeously gothic intro soon gave way to an unpredictable medley of shocks, as we encountered more than just corpses once we ventured into the cellar. The actors revelled in our terror and the momentum didn't drop for a second. At one point, part of our group was held back, so attention could be focused a little more precisely with some great target scares. Overall, this attraction delivered the best scares of the night, by far. An amazing experience which will be hard to top this season. Black Widow A hooded maze creates opportunities for outlandish theming, as long as the theme can be executed via the remaining senses. And what could be more outlandish than some 8-legged beasties? This attraction utilised some great physical effects on our hands and arms as we blindly followed the rope to safety. I didn't notice any effects from above; I thought there might be something dangling to brush our heads and the tops of our shoulders, to give the illusion of a web. Black Widow was delightfully spooky, but as with last year's hooded maze, it serves as the finale to the scream park (Psychomanteum is an add-on) yet doesn't really deliver a thrilling climax. That being said, its oddball nature made it a fun addition to the lineup. Psychomanteum Resurrection You really think I'm doing that again?

Scarefest returns to Alton Towers, as the atmospheric ruins are once again populated with scareactors, special effects, and the sound of petrified screams. In addition to these vital components, this year I saw AN ACTUAL BAT flying around entrance to Terror of the Towers. He was really selling it, and I admired his enthusiasm. Bats aside, the most exciting element of Scarefest 2017 for me was the inclusion a brand new maze: The Welcoming, created as a tie-in to SW8, the new wooden coaster due to open at the start of the 2018 season. We decided to save this till last, booking in at 9pm, to ensure maximum darkness and residual adrenaline jitters from the first three... Sub-Species Now in its third year, the shine on Sub Species is gradually wearing off for me. This year I was treated to one alien encounter which I had to wait patiently for, as though I were queuing for a chocolate bar in a newsagents. In the first year, the ‘doors’ scene was a pure adrenaline accelerator, with scareactors baiting us and stirring up a little competition to get us going. Unfortunately, that exciting dynamic has not since been recreated, and the maze itself felt sparse and underpopulated. However, the finale surpassed last year. Not so chilling but definitely thrilling; I was caught in a group that were terrified to their core, and the scareactor jumped on this opportunity without hesitation, cornering and intimidating the more distressed individuals and violently swinging his chainsaw. He was also brightly backlit which added a touch more drama to his performance. It was quite a sight, even if you’re over chainsaws. Terror of the Towers I’ve always been a huge fan of this classic maze, and while I would welcome a new intro, I’m still more than happy to tread through the same sets – themed to dark, theatrical perfection – whilst soaking up the sights, sounds and smells of pure immersive gothic horror. This year, the cast were poised and ready to deliver effective impact scares at every opportunity, whilst mixing in some sinister interaction to draw us deeper into their environment. Last year I said the finale was lacking, but this year it was back up to high gear, with some new demons bursting out from behind the fences, their grotesque horror makeup lit sporadically by the intensely disorienting strobe. In the past I've questioned how on earth the group leader ever manages to navigate the end scene, and that I was yet to try. Well, this year I tried. I succeeded. And I screamed my goddamn lungs out. Skin Snatchers Skin Snatchers blew me away last year, so I was beyond excited to get back in there. I even swapped places in the queue so I could get a Haunted Lantern hardhat this time. The intro was as engaging as before, brilliantly acted with great use of dark humour. We ventured into the dark, winding passages of the mine, and soon enough I was ambushed with a full contact scare that I won't forget in a hurry - something which never materialised in Sub Species. The character restrained me and whispered that I was now alone, and that I'd be dealt with before the group would even notice my absence. The combination of the scareactor contact and immersive maze layout was alarming, and the hardhat really added an extra dimension of fear - particularly the strobing effect, with instantly threw me off my stride. The finale this year fell flat compared to last year's explosive ending; we ambled towards the exit in silence. Despite this, Skin Snatchers is still selling pure Buffalo-Gein terror, and I hope to buy more next year. The Welcoming Last year I’d have said that Skin Snatchers’ cinematic quality couldn’t be topped, in terms of aesthetic and narrative. I never imagined that The Welcoming would present such a show, especially after the hoods & rope revelation. My expectations were relatively low. This, coupled with fact that the modest intro room gave very little away, meant my entry through the curtain was all the more breathtaking. I wasn’t quite sure how the theming would come together in terms of the SW8 tie-in, but after a nanosecond of adjusting my eyes to my surroundings, I got it, I bought it, and completely fell in love with it. Intricate sets are one thing, but this was its own little world, with a dreamlike quality created by clever lighting and the intensity of the actors. The hooded segment didn't add anything so I assume its inclusion was perfunctory, but others in my group received more contact scares than I did at this point. Was I chosen? Well, I was very excited to discover a pink clothes peg attached to my back after exiting the maze. However, after my friend emerged from the maze with a tonne of dirt makeup daubed on his face, I'm starting to doubt the significance of said peg. Freak Show Unbelievably, just as we missed the scare zones last year, we missed Freak Show this year too. What should have been a comfortable gap between our maze bookings was eaten up by a 90+ minute queue to get into Skin Snatchers. Extremely disappointing, and a major oversight in terms of park operations. We're just hoping it'll return next year!

Twelve years ago, I volunteered at Doc/Fest. It was my first ever film festival experience; I learned a lot, and it set me on a path to where I am now. Over the years, Doc/Fest has grown exponentially. It’s now the biggest documentary festival in the UK, with screenings and events happening all over the city. Despite my history with the festival (and the fact that it’s right here in Sheffield), I haven’t made it to that many screenings. However, when I found out that Spookers was screening as part of Doc/Fest, I couldn’t book it fast enough. Not only is Spookers a documentary about a scare attraction, but it had its own scare attraction to go with it! The screening took place in the atmospheric and historic Abbeydale Picturehouse, the perfect venue for this event. It was really nice, if a little bizarre, to see familiar faces from my two separate worlds, film festivals and scare entertainment, under the same roof. Even in the horror sphere, where I basically live my entire life, the two don’t often mix. I was a little giddy to say the least. Our scare experience came first. Produced by AtmosFEAR! Scare Entertainment, this mini attraction consisted of a simple but effective walkthrough, peppered with strategically positioned scareactors. The design was ideal for newcomers, featuring a line on the floor to follow, hands-on-shoulders, and a ‘host’ actor controlling things at the front. It worked well. Perhaps the best element of the experience didn’t become known until after the documentary – that the characters inside where based on the characters from the Spookers attraction. This was a lovely touch. After the scare experience, we took our seats in the auditorium. Two actors, one interactive and one writhing on the floor/generally upsetting people, entertained us as we waited for the film to start. Spookers is about a New Zealand scare attraction of the same name. It’s open all year round, and housed in Kingseat, a former psychiatric hospital south of Auckland. The building itself is considered to be one of the most haunted in the country. It was in operation as a hospital from 1932 to 1999, and Spookers has been open there since 2005. The documentary takes us inside the world of Spookers, and introduces us to its creators and actors – ‘a family like no other’. With a haunt on this scale, the creative and operational aspects alone could fill an entire documentary, so after briefly exploring these elements, Spookers focuses its attention elsewhere: the actors. They talk openly about their struggles in life; how the Spookers family has given them a sense of belonging and community, and helped them find their place in the world. Their remarkably honest, moving, and personal anecdotes are mostly delivered in full costume and makeup, which creates an interesting contrast: they appear inhuman, yet they are telling deeply human stories. This gives the film a surreal, dreamlike quality. The film is also interspersed with moments of visual fantasy – an unusual choice for a documentary – which depict the actors’ dreams, fantasies and memories. These add great deal of warmth and heart, and heighten the surrealism. Actors’ stories aside, the documentary is about a haunted attraction, the expectation being at that some point we’ll see it in action. And the film delivers on this with gusto. The scenes inside the attraction are frenzied, energetic, loud and outrageously entertaining. Blood splatters, chainsaws roar, guests burst from doorways and run screaming into the night. We are treated to exquisite slow motion close-ups of guests’ faces as they are mercilessly terrorised by the actors, causing the audience to erupt with laughter. The chaotic fun of scare entertainment is portrayed perfectly in these scenes. This documentary strikes a though-provoking balance. It presents us with the full horror of Spookers in all its gory glory. It explores the energy and creativity poured into it, and the human stories behind it. It examines what it means to express yourself creatively, and embrace who you really are. It’s a poignant celebration of the weird and wonderful. And it’s well worth a watch.

Spoiler level: No specific details of what happens in each attraction, but lots of general description which could be perceived as spoilers. "Do you remember that one at Blackpool? Well this is way worse than that." I overheard this in the car park from a guy trying to advise his friend as to what he was letting himself in for. While this may seem glaringly obvious to seasoned scare fans, it's pretty spot on. 'Worse' in this context meaning 'much more terrifying'. Because Scare Kingdom Scream Park, now in its eighth year, delivers scares on a grand scale, featuring seven attractions which are experienced in sequence over the course of the evening. Due to the nature of the event, my advice would always be to steer clear if you're of a nervous disposition, lest you become overwhelmed and need to be escorted from the park. I saw it happen last year. I saw it happen this year. And it will continue to happen I'm sure. But for the rest of us, Scare Kingdom is a veritable playground of scary fun, and I couldn't wait to explore the dark delights of this year's lineup... Mallum In past years, Scare Kingdom’s opening acts have been fantastic. Simple yet effective pieces designed to get the adrenaline pumping and start the evening off at the right level. This was very much the opposite. As dull as it was confusing, it seemed to be over before it had begun. We weren’t there long enough for the muddled setpiece to make any sense. Our group was quite small yet we moved all the way to the edge as we thought more people were coming in. Had we been instructed to remain more central, the only scare that was supposed to happen might have hit a little harder. Although I doubt that would have saved it. The Sickness Scaring isn’t an exact science, but for me, this attraction is as objectively terrifying as it gets (but therein lies the subjective bias- I LOVE hospital themed stuff!) The execution of this concept was everything I was hoping for and more. The Sickness was the perfect balance of character interaction and set walkthroughs with an all-round sensory assault to boost the experience. Think heart monitors, grimy walls, smell pods, the whole nine yards. I was thoroughly immersed, although the music drowned out the actors a little. The storyline about the experimentation was a nice detail which kept us engaged, adding to the sense of dread and tension as we progressed. And the bed scene? Well, it scared the crap out of me. A perfectly timed impact scare which genuinely made me want to run. Manormortis The ever impressive Manormortis is always a Scare Kingdom highlight; its clever design and extraordinary grandeur are a delight to behold. This year, the story was centred around the recently discovered diary of ‘Emily Haxenghast’, and ghostly sightings within the house. The actors were all on top form, particularly in the library and furnace, and I loved the Ghostbusters/Holtzmann style character at the beginning. Scare Kingdom always wins on the movie nods. The experience this year felt very theatrical, with a Dungeons-style performance in every room, but no memorable scares. In fact, no-one flinched during the climax of one particular room (perhaps to do with volume/positioning), but the end scene gave me a decent jump, despite the predictable format. The House of Gaunt A nifty little attraction and a pediophobic’s worst nightmare, this was a creepy, claustrophobic experience that really delivered the chills. The haunted doll motif, which found recent fame in movies such as The Conjuring/Annabelle, worked well here, especially with the unease of not knowing (for sure) what would move and what wouldn’t. There were a few jump scares but unfortunately they mostly seemed to target the front of our group. The visual effects were still enjoyable though. I thought my pal Automata from Horror Camp Live might make an appearance here, but sadly not! 666 Brimstone Place I’m a little torn here between my need to review this as a standalone maze and my urge to compare it to Hell from last year, which was housed in the same building. The fact of the matter is that I’d rather have seen Hell return for a second year, rather than something under a different name which is largely the same. There were small differences, and Hell was indeed one of my highlights from last year, so it was great to see that finale again, albeit with a different character. Also the actor at the beginning was fantastic and really took his time unsettling us. Overall this was a lot of fun, with a theatrical start and a dramatic finish. Tension fell a little flat for me once I realised I knew what was coming, but I still had a good time. Black Death Who doesn’t love a hooded maze? Well, me usually. The plague is a theme which I'd love to see more of in scare attractions. I’ve always found it to be very disturbing, and there’s lots of dramatic imagery to play with; sick people, plague doctors, rotting corpses, etc. That’s why I was disappointed to hear that Black Death at Scare Kingdom was going to be hooded. But this was a great attraction! It helped immensely that the hoods were thick, this really does make a big difference. I couldn’t see a thing. The actors played up the other sensory elements very well, and the change in texture on the ground was very effective. Our group seemed to split at one point, although the sense of isolation from wearing a hood negates the need for this. The only thing it was missing was a strong smell – perhaps there was one but I couldn’t smell it through the hood! Snuffhouse Alone In the past I’ve remained quiet about Psychomanteum, the 18+ add-on to the Scare Kingdom experience. I wanted to perpetuate the mystique. But Psychomanteum has now been replaced with Snuffhouse Alone, a sick spin-off from Snuffhouse After Dark, the 4 hour experience I completed earlier this year. As with Psychomateum, the nature of Snuffhouse Alone is very extreme. If you had any difficulty comprehending how Psychomateum fitted in with an otherwise traditionally scary evening of Halloween fun, then Snuffhouse will baffle you even more. I’m right there with you, but that’s not to say I dislike it. In the 4 hour version, the tormentors were playing the long game, breaking us down gradually with psychological and physical techniques. This experience lasted several minutes, so all of that had obviously been taken out. What remains? Shock and repulsion. God help you all.

As I was getting ready to leave for Snuffhouse (After Dark), a collaboration between AtmosFEAR! Scare entertainment and Russ McKamey (of McKamey Manor infamy), my brain was in a state of confusion. According to my calendar, we were in the month of August. It wasn't a hot day but it was certainly mild. However, high winds were beginning to howl around my house, dry leaves were scuttling across our drive, and I was setting off to go to Scare Kingdom Scream Park. That, plus the fact that my friend had posted a picture of Halloween decorations in TK Maxx. For a brief moment in my head, it was October bliss. The aforementioned winds were even stronger by the time we arrived, and night had fallen. Hawkshaw Farm car park was deserted. Gone was the early evening sunshine of the first hour of Horror Camp Live. Gone were the giddy crowds gathering to enter Scare Kingdom's Halloween mazes. It was silent, bar the howling wind, and very dark indeed. Never before, in all the years I've been attending scare events, have I experienced a sense of dread quite like that. One by one, more cars began to show, and our small group converged amid nervous laughter and furtive glances towards the shadows. We signed our waivers, and off we went. The sense of dread increased as we entered the event, hooded and shuffling in single file. I struggled to get my breathing under control, which was a new one for me. We were address by a video of Russ McKamey who reiterated that we really didn't want to do this. The man has all the subtlety of a sledgehammer and so his spiel was mildly hokey, but I went with it. And before I knew it, the night was in full swing, kicking off (for my group) with a gruelling round of physical exercise. Things only got worse from that point. Tasks were varied and randomised; my friend's experience was vastly different to mine. At one point I was taken away for one-on-one 'conditioning' involving a metal dental device. Things got very uncomfortable very quickly. The stress of certain situations, with the addition of some psychological probing, left me in a very bewildered state. All the physical & psychological elements (no doubt carefully chosen), worked simultaneously for maximum effect. I felt my energy depleting, and the voice inside my head which had been cheering me on was becoming quieter as each hour passed. As I struggled on, I couldn't escape one thought: 'It's working. This is how I'm meant to feel.' One of the hardest things about this event was the fact that all bravado and camaraderie was stripped away, as we operated mostly on a speak-when-spoken-to basis. We couldn't lighten the mood or encourage each other, as we were watched at all times. The tormentors did not tolerate humour. We, the 'sufferers', rarely spoke to each other. In fact, we were pitted against each other, and seeds of distrust were planted throughout the night. At one point we were secretly instructed to carry out specific actions on each other, and within seconds our group erupted in a mad commotion of chaos and confusion. I found myself in the grip of a strange mania, whereby I entered into a lengthy and aggressive wrestling match with a full grown man, which I cannot recall a reason for. But gory details aside, was it any good? This is quite difficult to gauge; enjoyment just isn't the right barometer. The Scare Kingdom website summarises this as an event "which places the participants into the heart of an immersive scare entertainment experience". Personally, I would disagree with this. There wasn't much which was intended to scare us (fear of uncertainty aside). Fear is entirely subjective so I can only speak for myself, but to me, this wasn't really a "scare entertainment experience". At no point whatsoever did I scream. The more exhausted I became, the more I began to shut down, whereas being scared has the opposite effect on me. Nevertheless, this was a memorable experience, and a fascinating one in hindsight. To say 'it's not for everyone' would be an understatement. At the heart of it, this type of thing is really quite niche. It's a way to test your morals, your determination, your physical and emotional strength, your endurance, your limits, and above all, yourself.

A few months ago I found out I wouldn't be able to attend Cannes Film Festival this year. I was gutted. I'd had such amazing experiences there in 2015 and 2014. But yacht parties and red carpets aside, the Cannes Marché du film has an important role to play in the programming of Celluloid Screams, so the idea of missing it was a bit of a worry. Our team would be one person down in a market with so much ground to cover. Then it came to me - it doesn't have to be Cannes! The Berlin International Film Festival (Berlinale) also hosts the the European Film Market (EFM), one of largest film markets in the world alongside Cannes. Not only that - I love Berlin. My mind was made up. I did feel a twinge of gloom as I was packing my suitcase; in the absence of sunglasses, sandals and sun cream I was packing boots, scarves and gloves. But any opportunity to wear cute beanies and snuggly winter scarves is a welcome one. And I certainly needed them! The tall buildings of Potsdamer Platz deflected blasts of icy wind which howled around the square; I battled through each morning on my way to the Sony Centre, armed with hot coffee. Eventually I got lazy and began to jumping into EFM shuttle cars at every opportunity, which travelled around all the major locations every few minutes (a luxury not provided in Cannes!) All the market screenings I went to were in actual cinemas - a lot more comfortable than purpose built screening rooms. The films themselves were mostly OK. I only fell in love with one film, followed by three that I liked, and the rest were either mediocre, utter rubbish, or simply not right for us. Nevertheless, there was plenty to go at in the market itself. Housed mostly in the beautiful Martin-Gropius-Bau building, it was full to bursting with sales agents, distributors, buyers, financiers and other industry professionals. The amount of literature I came away with sent me over my baggage allowance! I had some downtime to enjoy the city and revisit some of my favourite spots. Berlin has a great vibe. As a comparison- London has a glossy veneer of friendliness which masks the cold indifference at its heart, shielding tourists from its dark side. Berlin doesn't bother with this. It has no pretense. It's very take-it-or-leave it; immerse yourself, or be gone. If London says "welcome to this great city, we are wonderful, and by the way, fuck you", Berlin is a simple "fuck you". And I really respect that. The bleak, grey skies of winter really suit Berlin, however I did visit a gorgeous district called Prenzlauer Berg, which I imagine is lovely in the summer. I also stopped by the Deutsche Oper U-Bahn station because I'm huge fan of Rammstein (it's the station they crawl out of in the video for 'Mein Teil'). I hope to return to Berlin soon for another leisure trip, and I would definitely attend Berlinale again. Did I prefer it to Cannes? I'm leaning towards no, but it's difficult to compare two entirely different experiences. There were fewer distractions than there are in Cannes, with all its fluff and sparkle, so it was easier to focus on the task at hand. The festival staff were friendlier. And, most importantly, the mood of the city put me in the right mindset to watch horror films all day. For a horror film festival programmer, not much else matters!